Personal Parallels from Scott Stapp's Childhood & Music
I can relate so much to Scott's recount of his childhood and religious upbringing. How he was basically forced to go to church and that religion came at him from every side. It just breeds that resentment that festers inside very badly. Like a time bomb that is timed to go off during the teenage years.
With me it was my grandparents, and I loved them dearly. I just recall how much I hated Sundays and having to sit through a three-hour service. So I'd make a pest of myself by carrying out all kinds of mischief. I recall once I bought one of those really foul smelling gag colognes called "morning breeze" and just set it off in the middle of the congregation amidst the Sunday morning sermon.
Man, it was hysterical to see dozens and dozens of people dashing towards the door. Needless to say, I got my little ass blistered for that stunt. I wonder what type of memories Scott has in relation to this part of his life? The thing with Scottie is that, even at a very young age, he had that musical inclination and natural talent. "A calling" in his life, he was told. How true that would turn out to be.
I myself did not start to really play music until I was around 21, but by then my vices and self-destructive behavior had blinded me and I pretty much pissed away every opportunity that came my way. It's as if I was determined to proove to everyone that I was a failure. Yeah, I was good at sabotaging anything good in my life.
Scott talks about having like a dream one night and being awoken by the inspiration to start writing songs... and that it was a result of that experience that his actualy music career started. I recall having a similar experience in 1995 together with my good friend Gary B in San Juan, Puerto Rico overlooking the ocean.
WE both worked at the same newspaper; I was a writer and he was the director of photography. As a matter of fact I believe he still is. We had grabbed lunch at this joint called "El Hamburger," located adjancent to an amazing ocean view. Me and Gary had been talking about playing music. He was a drummer and I told him I was a singer/ songwriter.
At first he kinda made fun of me because I would show up to work dressed in these really tacky suits and with gel plastered all over my hair. I had never worked in an office or wore suits and I guess it REALLY showed! But something drew us together; it was the music man. Yeah... it sure was.
And, there, overlooking the ocean next to "El Hamburger" we both felt an amazing presence that was powerful. We had a spiritual experience. Both of us felt the same thing; we felt that we were being called to create a rock band that would carry a message of life and power to those who were hurting.
Look, I will make a long story short. Gary put all of his heart into the group and we wrote some amazing songs back then. When Creed came out with My Own Prision in 1997 I recall feeling; WOW, yeah... that's what we want to do also with "Molten," the name we had given the band.
And it all looked so promising too. We made amazing strides over the years and I was convinced that this was my fate. But it was not meant to be. Not because of Gary, not because of the music, not because of any other reason that... my insane and self destructive behavior. I will spare you the details, but I lost my mind and proceeded to completely destroy everything good that was happening in my life.
The vision had died and the dream had turned to ashes. Maybe that is why I feel such a closeness with Creed and the guys. They had the discipline and consistency to take action and reach their goals. What happened to my life I often wonder? I feel like I am living an alternate reality; one forced into existence by my rebellion and stupidity.
Molten feels like it happened a lifetime ago. I know that I let Gary down and many of the other people that gave themselves to the project only to be horrified by my behavior. Some days I am at peace with myself, other days I cannot escape the remorse and guilt for having pissed away such a precious gift.
The songs are still there; I just don't have the same spirit anymore. It probably is still in there somewhere... I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. But one thing is for certain: we have Creed and their music. And that always makes it all better.
Scott, the fact that you exist is indeed a blessing for us... Anyone out there; thanx for reading. :-)
Ps: Here are some basement tapes from the old band that I found a few days ago. The sound sucks, but at lest I get a chance to share this music with you guys here at the Home of the Best Band in The World - Creed! My very personal favorite is the song called "2 Hell & Back." The fast part and the lead all came to me in a dream, it was wild. :-)
Here's Keeper of the Shadows, 2006.
I'm the songwriter, lead singer and second guitar - On lead is Matt George, Bass George Longus, Drums Jeff "Killian" Cohen...